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Kanto Hitman
02 July 2009 @ 12:44 pm

Another inexorable virus will slowly sweep the nation in the coming weeks. Thankfully, it absolutely has nothing to do with our health. Despite the increasing Influenza scare in majority of the metro’s colleges and universities, the much-awaited 72nd season of the UAAP season is all set to open shop next month. Local basketball fans are expected to swarm the Araneta Coliseum this July 11 to support their schools, scream their official chants, and salivate over their favorite players in the country’s most popular basketball league. 

 

For some reason, there are not many UAAP previews available on the Internet. I considered this a sign that the basketball gods have commissioned me to make my personal preview yet again— to the chagrin of my avid readers, all five of them. I’m making this a three-part special post because I have this false and hubris-plastered belief that people wait for my blog entries.  

 

Again, like in my previous UAAP previews (like this one), my analyses are all based from what I know last season. I will gauge the teams according to the players lost, players retained, and players added. I don’t like to depend on the teams’ performances on pre-season tournaments since these are just like normal pick-up games with better lights and better uniforms.     

 

CLICK TO CONTINUE THE BOREDOM )
 
 
ano bang mood ko?: Excited
bumabayo sa tenga: I Dance Alone - Toe
 
 
Kanto Hitman

First time ko lang makakapag-post ng dalawang entry sa loob ng isang araw (halatang wala pa rin ako masyadong ginagawa dito sa opisina). At nangyari ito dahil na-inspire ako kay sa Chick N' Joy at Aga Muhlach at dahil gusto kong sumakay sa bandwagon ng Hayden Kho jokes.



Isa kang nakakadiring dilemma para sa mga kalalakihan


Ayon sa pinakabagong tsismis, 40 iba’t ibang sex video pa raw ang nagawa ng hayup na doktor. Mapapaisip ka talaga kung makukupalan ka ba sa kanya o mapapasamba sa dami ng de-kalidad na chicks na “nakasama” niya. Tanong nga ng aking analytical na kaibigan na si Don: “papayag ka ba na may 'makasama' rin na 40 sobrang magagandang babae pero kasing bigat ng problema ni Hayden Kho ang magiging problema mo?”


That’s tough, man.

 
 
ano bang mood ko?: confused
bumabayo sa tenga: stare at the sun - mute math
 
 
Kanto Hitman
22 May 2009 @ 02:01 pm

May shoe endorsement ba si Manny Pacquiao? Meron. May pain reliever endorsement ba si Manny Pacquiao? Meron. May sports drink endorsement ba si Manny Pacquiao? Meron. May mobile network endorsement ba si Manny Pacquiao? Meron. E may chichiria endorsement ba si Manny Pacquiao? Wala! Si Aga Muhlach meron.


Move over Boy Bawang


Isa na namang katawa-tawang produkto ng isang local food company ang chichiriang ito. Isa na namang malinaw na katunayan sa kakulangan sa originality ng mga Pilipino. Mukhang hindi na naman pinag-isipan. Kung ano na lang unang pumasok sa kukote. Bahala na moves. Tamad na nga kumilos, tamad pa mag-isip. Akalain mong nakagawa pa ng chichiria base sa popular na manok ng Jollibee? Iniba lang ‘yung spelling: mula Chicken Joy ginawang Chick N’ Joy.


Pero malinaw naman na hindi ‘yung pangalan ‘yung laptrip. ‘Yung mukha ni Aga Muhlach ang nakakatawa! Hindi ko masyado maipaliwanag kung bakit ako natatawa. Siguro dahil hindi ko lang talaga na-imagine kahit ga-bulbol man lang na mapa-plaster ang mukha ni Aga Muhlach sa mumurahing chichiria. Sobrang out of place. Parang Sasquatch na nagba-bike sa Baguio o kaya matinong congressman sa Pilipinas. In a more coñotic and artistic phrasing: it’s so surreal!


Hindi na kailangan pa ng philosophical analysis ni Rene Descartes kung bakit mukha ni Aga Muhlach ang nilagay sa packaging. Sa dami ng Chicken Joy commercial ni Aga Muhlach, na-associate na ang pagmumukha niya dito. Maituturing na ngang redundant kapag nagsuot siya ng Jollibee costume e. Taun-taon, may bago siyang Chicken Joy commercial kung saan ipinamamalas niya ang world-class Aga Muhlach brand of acting: kung makahawak ng manok akala mo kamay ng syota ang hawak. Nakangiti pa tuwing kumakagat at ngumunguya. Sinong ungas ang ngumingiti habang kumakagat o ngumunguya ng pagkain? Si Joker lang siguro. Well, tsaka si Aga Muhlach, apparently.


Isa na naman itong blatant copyright infringement ng maliliit na kumpanya dito sa Pilipinas. Ipupusta ko ang milyun-milyon kong nunal sa katawan (kasama na ‘yung dalawa sa ilalim ng bayag ko) na hindi nagpaalam ang ASY Food Corporation kay Aga Muhlach na gagamitin nila ang poging-poging post-Bagets niyang litrato sa chichiria nila. Pero ok na rin kasi at least hindi nabayaran si Aga Muhlach ng siguradong malaking talent fee—isang bagay na hindi na niya kailangan dahil marami na siyang pera. At isa sa pinakakinaaasaran ko ay mga taong may excessive wealth.


Naisip siguro ng mga may-ari ng ASY na “kinuha na natin ‘yung pangalan e, bakit hindi na rin natin isama ‘yung endorser?” Kung magnanakaw ka nga lang naman, ‘yung complete package na. Sino ba naman ang engot na magnanakaw ng TV tapos hindi pa isasama ‘yung remote control? Pero kung iisipin, parang mali rin ang pagpili ng ASY kay Aga Muhlach. Sino lang ba ang bumibili ng tigpi-pisong chichiria? Mga bata. Kasama ba sila sa audience demographics ni Papa Aga? Hindi. Masyado pang inosente ang mga bata para ma-hypnotize o ma-tempt ng sacrosanct na mukha ni Aga Muhlach. So in effect, hindi rin sila mae-entice bumili. Kung mukha sana ni Santino ang nilagay nila, edi siguradong panic buying ang mga chikiting.


Although ‘yung mukha ni Doc Aga nga ang nagtulak sa akin para bumili ng Chick N’ Joy kahapon sa tindahan malapit sa opisina, binili ko ‘to for exactly the opposite reason: para kutyain ang endorser na supposedly magpe-persuade sa akin na bilhin ang produkto dahil gusto ko siya. Ako pa nga ang pinakaunang bumili dahil ako ang unang bumawas sa supot. Isang pagpapatunay na hindi talaga siya appealing sa mga bata (maraming bata na naglalaro sa may tindahan). Wala nang laman ‘yung balot sa picture kasi pilit ko nang kinain. Pakiramdam ko kamukha ko na rin si Aga Muhlach. ‘Yun siguro ang nutritional value niya: mas popogi ka at makakadagit ka rin ng chickas na kasing ganda at talino ni Charlene Gonzalez. Nakakabagabag nga lang talaga kung bakit lasang keso ang Chick N’ Joy (kalasa niya ‘yung tigpi-pisong Cheesedog na chichiria). Wala ka talagang malalasahang manok kahit kasing sensitibo pa ng Cueshe ang tastebuds mo.


Pero to be fair, logical naman ang pagpili ng ASY sa Chick N’ Joy bilang pangalan ng kanilang chichiria. Halos lahat ng bata ay gusto ang Chicken Joy ng Jollibee, at sa paggamit ng ASY sa Chick N’ Joy, iniisip nilang makakagoyo sila ng bata na marahil
ay iisipin na lasang Chicken Joy nga ang chichiria. Nakasandal sila sa gullible at unpolluted na utak ng mga musmos. Masama man pakinggan, nina-nice fake nila ang mga bata. Pero hindi ba ganun naman talaga ang goal ng mga marketing strategy? Gawin ang lahat para maloko ang target market sa pagkonsumo. All’s fair in love, war, and commercialism.


Para
tapusin na ang malabnaw na entry na ‘to, hihiram ako ng isang inspiring quote na talagang nagtahi sa kultura ng ating bayan at nagbago sa pananaw nating mga Pilipino: “Isa pa, isa pang Chick N’ Joy!”

 
 
ano bang mood ko?: chicken
bumabayo sa tenga: chicken joy song - serena dalrymple
 
 
Kanto Hitman
19 May 2009 @ 02:58 pm

I must've done something good to humanity during the past few days because Someone Up There miraculously freed me from any workload today. That automatically means a not-much-awaited blog update since it feels like I haven’t written anything (plug scripts don’t count) since World War I. If you’re looking for a socially responsible, extremely informative, and incredibly entertaining post, then you’ve come to the right place for everything that don’t fit those descriptions.

 

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Work has slowly eaten me alive. It just hasn’t digested me well enough. The loads of free time I had when I was still with the sports department have found their resting place. Although my new stint gets cruelly exhausting at times, it’s really not much of a bad deal since I’m learning a lot in producing and editing videos. There are also delightful instances when I get all revved up to make a plug just because I have a sudden surge of idea, which occurs as often as the Parting of the Red Sea, or just because I think of a highly appropriate song that can be used for the plug score. I know I’m nowhere near the talent of some of the producers here, but I try to improve everyday and consume everything I learn when I observe their work.

 

I can’t say that I’m completely enjoying my job though. I would still return to the sports group without batting an eyelash if given the chance. Aside from the incomparable rush of covering sports competitions, I also miss the traveling opportunities. Going out of town beats a monotonous day in the office anytime. My former group mates have all went to an out-of-town assignment already (they have more lined-up in the weeks to come), while I’m still trapped here in my worn-out desk. But again, I’m trying my best to be stoic about everything that has happened. Just be thankful and make do with what I have.   

 

Another little problem I have with my new work is my already limited vocabulary mileage. When I was with Solar Sports and BTV, all I could think about were sports jargons, and now that I’m with C/S Origin, all I could think about (not that I think a lot) are law, crime, and forensic terminologies. I have this tendency to get stuck with words or phrases I use in my daily writing even when it comes to writing about a totally different topic. I get so used to the tried-and-tested formulas that I tend to unconsciously turn a deaf ear to other methods that could also work.

 

So in an attempt to address this, I’ve reunited with my bookshelf and started to read books once again. I got so used to reading articles and reviews on the Internet that I forgot that I have put several novels I bought on the backburner. While online write-ups are clearly more practical and equally entertaining, they don’t usually provide the imagination and imagery like short stories and novels do. Most movie and music reviews also use technical terms and follow a specific blueprint (gist–positives–negatives-conclusion), which somehow defeats the purpose of me not being confined to a specific subculture of words and phrases.

 

I’m almost done with Chuck Palahniuk’s Invisible Monsters and Audrey Niffenegger's A Time Traveler’s Wife. I believe I’m not the only one who has the habit of reading different books in the same period of time. It has become an unhealthy habit since I usually mix up the characters. My friends and officemates have already recommended books so I would appreciate it very much if you do the same (although I don’t expect much from all of the three readers of this blog). Business World super reporter Don recommended David Halberstam’s sports novel The Breaks of the Game, Severo super vocalist Enzo suggested Chuck Klosterman’s fictional novel Downtown Owl, and television superstar Lia Cruz raved about Haruki Murakami’s memoir What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. You can’t go wrong with those three authors (and those three recommenders as well). Send me those titles!

 

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The NBA Playoffs has been everything as expected. The Cavaliers made little birds out of the Hawks, Orlando booted out the defending champs, the Nuggets trampled the skeletal Mavericks line-up, and the Lakers squeezed past a relentless Rockets squad.

 

Of all the quarterfinal match-ups, it was the Lakers-Rockets tiff that interested me the most because of the word I just used in the previous sentence: relentless. When the Rockets lost Yao Ming to a season-ending foot injury, they were expected to just roll over and get punched by the insanely hackneyed “Houston, We Have a Problem” headline yet again. It looked like a fair initial observation since they were facing a loaded and experienced Lakers squad. But instead of allowing themselves to be buried alive, the Rockets pushed the Purple and Gold to seven games with their resiliency and we’re-not-intimidated visage. Although the deciding game turned out to be a rout for the Lakers, the Rockets proved that hard work can sometimes trump talent.

 

On a more personal note, I would like to commend one of the players I look up to the most, Shane Battier, for another masterful job against Kobe Bryant. Of all the statistics, it was Kobe’s field goal percentage that I closely followed during the entire series. It was the first thing I looked at every time I checked the boxscore to gauge how well Battier defended Mr. 81. Although Kobe shot a respectable 45.3% in the seven-game stretch, it doesn’t reflect how hard he had to work for his points versus Battier. The Duke alumnus stayed with Kobe all series long. He challenged every shot, sacrificed his body, and even modestly endured a “You Can’t Guard Me!” denigration from the Lakers superstar. In addition, he did not foul out in each of the games which just further solidifies how well he played defense against the most complete offensive player in the NBA today. No one can stop Kobe. You can only contain him. And that’s what Battier has done every time the Rockets faced the Lakers for the past few seasons.

  

If you’ll notice, Battier doesn’t score or even attempt shots that much. He only averaged 6.7 shot attempts and 7.7 points in the series yet he played an average of 37.0 minutes per game (second to Ron Artest’s team-high 38.2). Despite not contributing much on the offensive end, Battier stayed on the floor because of his tough-as-nails defense and intangibles. It’s almost impossible not to admire a player who does all the things Battier does. Unless you’re the one he’s guarding, of course.  

 

Read this epic New York Times feature on Battier to have a deeper understanding of what I truly mean. It’s everything I have observed since Battier was drafted in the NBA. Only he wrote it way ahead of me and waaaaaaaaaaaay better than what I could have done.

 
 
ano bang mood ko?: indifferent
bumabayo sa tenga: crestfallen - +/-
 
 
Kanto Hitman

1. Matindi pa rin ang hangover ko sa aming matindi at magulong pag-iikot sa Camarines noong Holy Week.


2. Gusto ko ng napakalamig na Red Horse at napakalutong na sisig na may itlog.


3. Pangit pala talaga ang pakiramdam kapag ikaw ang tumira ng last shot tapos hindi na-shoot.


4. Maganda pala talaga ang Mayon Volcano (kahit sa malayo ko lang nakita).


5. Sana buhay pa si Jeff Buckley para may tsansang mag-collaborate sila ni Jose Gonzalez.


6. Panalo ang philosophy na ito ni
Slavoj Žižek na nakuha ko kay Bimbo.


7. Nagsusulat pala ng food/restaurant reviews si Armi Millare para sa Philippines Free Press.


8. Hindi marunong maging pangit si Emmanuelle Chriqui.


9. Kadalasan misunderstood ang genuine initiative bilang pagiging lider-lideran.


10. Mas bulok pa sa mga basura sa Payatas ang NBA Fantasy ko ngayong taon.


11. Salamat naman at medyo naka-adjust na rin ako kahit papano sa C/S Origin (manood kayo ng Medium tsaka ng Law & Order).


12. Bakit ba parang takang-taka at diring-diri ang ibang tao kapag sinabi mong hindi ka pupunta sa Boracay ngayong summer?


13. Sino pang may alam na bilihan ng matitinding DVD maliban sa Hidalgo, Metrowalk, at St. Francis Square?


14. Alam ko medyo luma na siya pero sino pa rin ang mabait na magreregalo sa akin ng Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto ni Chuck Klosterman?


15. “Ang sarap mong ihawin…ipalamon sa mga pating...wala kang silbi…wala kang silbi sa amin!”


16. Gusto ko na magpa-tattoo ulit pero wala pa rin talaga akong maisip na logical at sensible na design.


17. Kawawa naman si Ted Failon.


18. No cigarette stick tally: 86 days and counting.


19. Hindi ako makadesisyon kung sasali ako sa paluwagan dito sa opis.


20. Subukan niyo bilangin kung ilang beses niyo maririnig ang mga salitang “ang init” sa loob ng isang araw.


21. Ipupusta ko ang lahat ng brief ko na matatalo si Brian Viloria sa Linggo.


22. Kasing hirap i-figure out ng Egyptian Hieroglyphics ang pagpupursigi ng ibang babae na magkaroon ng tan lines.


23. Gusto ko maglagay ng maliit na inflatable swimming pool sa kuwarto ko.


24. Saguijo naman diyan!

25. ‘Di na dapat talaga kinukuha ang pay slip dahil madidismaya ka lang kapag nakita mo ang halaga ng kaltas sa suweldo mo.

 
 
ano bang mood ko?: soya lang
bumabayo sa tenga: across the universe - fiona apple